Solution Essay

And here's the "Solution" to the problem. This is one of my least favorite essays here, partly because it's less stylistically sound than its predecessor, partly because I wasted several paragraphs reiterating points made in the Problem essay (I wasn't sure whether it needed to be able to stand on its own or not), and partly because I rather softened some of my views in it in a ham-fisted attempt to appeal to a wider range of readers- let it be known that I think playing the games your children play is essential to reaching the kind of understanding and respect that I champion, at least in the early stages.

Nonetheless, I wouldn't call the thing bad, and those looking for an extension of the first may well get something out of it.

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SOLUTION ESSAY

It didn’t take me long, as a young video game player, to realize that my new hobby was not well received by my mother. Like mothers (and fathers) everywhere still do, she saw the games as invaders, pulling my attention away from worthier activities and even causing some harm to my fragile mind. Our disagreement about the quality of the games, and the restrictions she placed upon my playing them, brought tension and discontentment to our once-harmonious relationship. I was upset when unable to use my full allotment of game time in a day, and indignant at my parents’ unlimited television viewing, which I saw as unfair regardless of how much they actually watched. More than anything, though, I was saddened my mother, previously so open and interested to hear about my interests and hobbies, had suddenly become so negative
and unreceptive to the wonders I wished to share with her.

My story, I have much reason to believe, is being played out almost identically in homes across the country- indeed, the world. Parents’ guides everywhere urge the limitation and discouraging of video games, going so far as to suggest time frames to limit playing to, and sometimes to ban games from the household altogether, all in the name of protecting children and fostering a love of other things like reading and sports. But these techniques frequently cause more harm than good, and they deny children the parental closeness, friendship, respect, and understanding that they often so badly need.

Reversing the trends that have dominated for so long will not be easy. According to an Associated Press-AOL Games poll conducted late last year, forty-three percent of parents never game with their videogame-playing children, and an additional thirty percent rarely play over an hour each week- in all, only around one in four parents spend much time at all playing video games with their children (Fram and Tompson).But by playing these games with their children instead of condemning them, parents can build on their relationships and respect, learn more about their interests and personality, and perhaps even try to understand what draws their children to those games in the first place. Many parents are quick to assume that it’s the flashy graphics or the violence and sex that garner so much attention, but in reality, the graphics are merely a piece of the puzzle, and many of the most popular games contain little, if any, explicit content.

Even if a parent finds the prospect of gaming with their children too daunting (or if they’re simply too busy), there are a number of other things they can do to help, and eliminating time restrictions on game-playing is perhaps the most prevalent of them. It is also likely to be the least popular of my suggestions thus far. After all, parents have relied steadily on this technique for years, and were it eliminated, their children would do nothing but play video games, right? No, says Sandra Dodd, a national expert on child-parent relationships. “If you . . . let them play as much as they want, they'll play all they want and then do something else. I've seen it time and again. When the game is new there will be a binge if it's a good game, but it's no different from a parent who just got a favorite movie on DVD and wants to watch the special features, or someone doing a crossword or jigsaw puzzle and getting so involved that they forget what time it is”. True, a child who’s just been released from the shackles of limitation will, like anyone just freed from restrictions on their interests, gorge themselves on the games for a while, but over time the novelty will wear thin, and they’ll find balance.

However, even if a parent chooses to remove the restrictions, they must be very conscious of their manner of doing so. Chances are, their children have been raised, however reluctantly, to believe that the limits have been imposed out of love and concern, and if a parent removes the limitation suddenly without explaining why, the child will naturally think it came as a result of the parent caring less about the child. Instead of jumping the decision on them suddenly, parents should take them through a transition period; this is the best time for them to play the games with their children, as it silently reinforces that they’re not just dropping the child’s limitations out of disinterest or neglectfulness, but rather doing so for their mutual benefit.

If the parents wish to shelter their child from inappropriate game content, the first thing they should do is familiarize themselves with the ESRB (Electronic Software Rating Board) game rating system. A survey mentioned at ESRB’s website and released in March of this year states that “86% of parents with children who play video games are aware of the rating system and 78% say they regularly check the rating before buying computer and video games for their children” (ESRB), yet you don’t have to look far to see parents and the media proclaiming their shock at the content of their children’s games- clearly, even more parents need to learn the system.

Something that should never be forgotten, but invariably is by so many well-meaning, misguided parents, is that children, like adults, don’t like having their hobbies derided or criticized. Treating their interests with contempt or derision will rarely gain you anything but spite, while being openminded, respectful, and understanding can bridge the gap between your ages and allow your child to really open up to you, and fosters mutual respect and understanding. I don’t expect many to be convinced or swayed by my arguments, either here or in the accompanying essay- most will remain skeptical, some disagreeing outright. But if even a few people see value in these words and understand the essence of what I’m advocating, it will be worth every ounce of the effort.

Works Cited:
Dodd, Sandra. Interview. Zachary Sanders. 27 March 2008.

ESRB. "Frequently Asked Questions." 2008. Entertainment Software Rating Board Website. 12 April 2008 .

Fram, Alan and Tompson, Trevor. "Many parents avoid video games with kids." 12 November 2007. MSNBC Website. 12 April 2008 .


Further Reading:

Everything Bad is Good for You: How Today’s Popular Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter, by Steven Johnson

Desert Trails – TV and Videogames. Blog Post.