The Beast Within

Deep within the dark, twisted catacombs of my mind, there lives a most foul and heinous entity. Known simply as the "RPG Monster", it is a slumbering behemoth whose very presence invokes pure terror in all near it, as well as a bizarre and nearly unaccountable urge to "level up".
This creature, who shall, for convenience's sake, henceforth be known as Carl, requires periodic sacrifices in the form of a twisted and freakish goulash of storytelling, stat managing, and really big swords. Satiated in this way, the beast will drift off into a deep sleep, not to be awakened until it hungers yet again for the deep and bitter flavor of pure, unabashed fantasy.

My peace offerings to this Carl in the past have been quite generous, none more so than this last summer's; roughly three and a half months of Pokemon Diamond constituted the main course, with the entirety of Final Fantasy IV Advance (sidequests included) making a most robust and, if I may indulge myself in a bit of chef's pride, pleasantly chewy dessert. Indeed, Carl gorged himself so well that I dared hope, feeble though the hope may have been, that he would never again feel the need to rise from his resting place, and that I may be freed at last from his tyrannical ways and reprehensible primal urges.
I have had no such luck. Indeed, I can feel him stirring within me as I write this, wiping the sleep from his many terrible eyes and preparing to bind me to his will yet again. I will not allow this to happen. I have a plan.

Immediately following %100 completion of Super Mario Galaxy (more on that game some other time), I will dive directly into the intimidating -but strangely sweet and gooey- depths of Final Fantasy VII. This is a desperate move, to be sure- FFVII is an absolutely massive game, so massive, in fact, that it apparently needs to be spread over three discs to fit. I will decimate it, the monster's completist instincts pushing me through every last sidequest and dungeon. In this way, the cycle will be once again complete; the beast will retire to his dank bedchamber for yet another multi-month digestion session, and I will be free to peruse the genres of my choice.

That is, until the beast stirs yet again within me.

-Smashing Brother