Curious Behavior

I've been noticing some odd things these last few days- behavioral irregularities that I just couldn't account for. Odd decorations have been popping up everywhere, members of my own family can be seen buying costumes (which, let me tell you, is most rare), and grocery stores have been advertising and displaying candy with unusual vim. Just today I learned that we've been invited to a celebratory party by members of our extended family. These and other things puzzled me for a while, but now I think I've figured it out.

These people are to preparing for the imminent release of Super Mario Galaxy.

It's obvious, really. I'm ashamed I didn't spot it sooner.

What? You don't believe me? Hmph. Look at the facts, will you?.

The decorations. Have you seen those bizarre pumpkin heads everybody seems to have on their front porch? Those, as any gamer could tell you, are based on the Splunkin enemy from New Super Mario Bros. And those sheets with eyes cut into them? Clearly very poor attempts at boos.

The costumes, no doubt, are in celebration of Mario's returning ability to don outfits that grant him special powers, like the bee suit. And while I agree that some of these ideas are a little far-fetched (I don't think it very likely that the grim reaper will be one of Mario's transformations, for one thing), well, I've always thought cosplayers were a little out there anyway, so a little insanity here is to be expected.
That's just the tip of the iceberg, however. From what I've been able to gather, there are plans for a massive outing, during which said cosplayers will walk from house to house, demanding candy from us poor, simple homebodies! They're calling it beggar's night- they've even managed to get the government to authorize it!

I understand a gamer's need to keep up a proper blood sugar level, especially in the weeks leading up to and around the release of such a hotly anticipated game. But this... this is just deplorable. Have they even considered that those of us who are forced to answer the door and listen to their so-called "begging" and (so I've heard) lame jokes might need this candy for something? Have they thought that maybe, just maybe, I might be saving it to fuel my own Galaxy playsessions?

My fellow gamers, I understand your excitement. I'm just as pumped as you are. But please try to exercise some self-control. This is Super Mario Galaxy, people, not the second coming of Christ. If you're so desperate for a fix, dust off that old copy of Super Mario 64 or Sunshine. They're fantastic games, and they should keep you busy 'till Galaxy launches on November 12th.

Oh, and you could celebrate Halloween. Honestly, it's like I'm the only one who follows these traditions anymore.

-Smashing Brother